Violent Swans (or How I Pissed Off King Swan)

I just got back from the gym and I open my living room blind to see two very large swans outside, in front of my patio.  It was such a surprise, it shocked me a bit.  They were eating pieces of white bread and whole animal crackers that had been thrown from the balcony above.  I just stood there for a moment watching them eat, mesmerize by their elegance as they made their way through their feast, mowing it down like it was their last meal. 

They approached closer to my patio until they were practically at my door.  I had made my way out and I was still watching.  They began digging through the brush searching for more food.  I saw a large dried out leaf next to me.  I said to myself, "What the heck.  They might go for it."  I picked it up and tried to hand it to the larger one that was closest.  He, or at least I think it was a he, immediately knew it wasn't food and shunned it away.  Then,  he began to hiss at me.  "A hiss?", I thought.  I didn't know swans hissed.  Well they do.  And these guys weren't messing around.  They wanted food. 

I decided to watch a while longer as they started eating the very grass itself.  Then, when the larger one had his back turned, I reached out.  I just wanted to feel those beautiful feathers.  But clever this one was.  He was on to me.  He turned quickly to greet me with another, much louder, hiss.  That was enough for me.  I wasn't about to get into a fight with King Swan.  I acquiesced to his majesty, and took the road less traveled (or in this instance, more traveled.  I don't know too many people who have fought swans). 

I retreated to my apartment.  Once safely inside, I watched for a few moments more.  They left shortly thereafter, once they knew their reign was asserted. 

Don't mess with swans when they're hungry.